an update

 I was away for a while
But I'm hoping someday you'll forgive me
Though I don't deserve it
I'll cherish it well if you give me one of your new starts

Just one more last chance
I swear that I'll earn it
If you front me for now
I'm good for it I swear
I'm better now I swear

In earlier days, they'd persecute people
They'd carry them off, and hobble their legs
For lesser offenses, and how I have harmed you
And still you allow me to walk free of pain

Though I punish myself
I will never settle
The debts I've incured for scorning the face
Of absolute beauty, and measureless grace
And though I once mocked you
I'm dying to pay for it now
I'm dying to pay for it now

So hand me the rocks to help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
To the end of an anchor thrown into the sound
And test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get

I wasn't well for a while
I savored the things that I knew were sure to destroy me
And that seemed to hold me
That seemed to carry me where I couldn't go
On the strength of my own
Well, I should've known
That gets me nowhere
I've learned that now I swear

In earlier days, they'd persecute people
They'd carry them off, and hobble their legs
For lesser offenses, and how I have harmed you
And still you allow me to walk free of pain

Though I punish myself
I will never settle
The debts I've incured for scorning the face
Of absolute beauty, and measureless grace
And though I once mocked you
I'm dying to pay for it now
I'm dying to pay for it now, now, now

So hand me the rocks to help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
To then end of an anchor thrown into the sound
And test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get

Well, I wasn't sure that I could
Well, I wasn't sure that I could
Well, I wasn't sure that I could
But, I can

i'm not really that worried

i like pink's latest single.
and been listening to this time too, too many times,just like its movie

********************

had three real nice, warm, brought-smiles-and-lotsa-laughter phone conversations yesterday.happiness. seems that ppl are worried abt me.i dunno hw to put my thots n feelings into words.the least that i could say is, this is just the journey that Allah had planned for me, to the destination which i dunno where would it lead me to, but the fact that i picked up so many valuable things along the way, i cudn't be more than grateful. i wish i was more certain about everything.n the fact that somebody accuses me of being weak, little that he knows about what i really need.i'm not looking for someone perfect, i'm just waiting for someone right, that i will know by heart.i can list a million things about the criteria and whatnots, but then again, we can only plan.but i'm not worried.i believe Allah has an awesome plan for me.n i know that the right one is out there making his way to me...n when he arrives, i believe it wouldn't be any hard for me to decide.at this point of life i realize that love is just an ideal thing.marriage is a real thing.so i'm just gonna take some time to get there.

*************************

"happiness lies for those who cried, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried"

someday i'll have to say goodbye

so lovely

hunny n fuffy

had them both here in jerantut last weekend.felt alive again.had quite cheeky time. haha.lov u girls!

perking up me mood

laptop skin dat resembles me blog layout.hah, i'm lovin it!

:nine west:

i'm in need to buy new shoes.nine west is pretty pricey but the shoes are just gorgeous...i'm so saving up.but then i dont wear hi heels anymore.the desire died a natural death i cudnt remember when exctly.i even have a fair of hi heels that are still in the box,clean.it felt weird being the tallest person at work.n the fact that the male population has grown vertically challenged nwadays, my hi heels have been thrown out of the window long time ago.what a shame!

doubtless

"Never cry if something
good is over
but smile because it happened"

- Tuan Beep

this monday is so blue...

i'm sleepy...i just dozed off during the assembly luckily i didn't fell off the chair...my skin is dry..i have puffy eyes..my head is aching...i'm hungry but don't feel like eating coz the canteen operator are serving the same menu every monday and i'm sick of it already...but the principal is not here so i'm quite happy...

n i'm wearing blue today...n i so wanna sleep...i wanna sleep my mind off everything and wake up next year..n i wish some things never happened...then i think i'll be much happier..i miss the happier days i used to have.

bantal beropol-ropol

perjalanan balik ke kampung sgt menyeronokkan jika memandu secara konvoi bersama kawan-kawan tersayang.dalam kes aku, adlinaa dan suaminya lah yg selalu menjadi teman konvoi apabila tiba waktu cuti sekolah atau kadang2 cuti hujung minggu yang sebnyk dua hari pun kami balik aje.cuti hari buruh yang lalu aku berkonvoi balik bersama feedvati yang menumpangkan 2 org jejaka macho di dalam keretanya.jejaka macho malu kt aku sbb tumpang perempuan balik kg.hahaha.aku rilek je..ape nak malu..konvoi balik semula ke pahang menjadi lebih bermakna apabila aku dan adlinaa terserempak dgn aifaatumblr di rnr gua musang.dia bersama sepupu.kami sgt teruja.

selesai makan dan borak-borak kami memberi ciuman selamat tinggal.aifaatumblr meneruskan perjalanan balik ke putrajaya.aku dan adlinaa meninggalkan rnr 10 minit kemudian.aku memandu berseorangan.musim cuti begini banyaklah kereta di atas jalan raya.seronok tapi bosan.perjalanan balik ke pahang mengambil masa sekurang-kurangya 5 jam untuk sampai.pinggang pun boleh tahan sakitnya.2 jam terakhir mata pun mengantuk.aku melayan lagu-lagu emo dan menyanyi beriringan dgn kuat untuk mghilangkan rs mengantuk. o yeahh..

keretaku meluncur dgn kelajuan antara 90 hingga 100km/j.di kejauhan ada sebuah kereta Vios berwarna hitam di hadapanku yang tidak berapa laju.aku potong kereta itu, sambil sempat mataku meninjau ke dalamnya, ku nampak pemandunya adalah seorang jejaka kacak lagi manis.haha.seorang diri juga.uuhh...hot stuff...hilang sikit rasa mengantukku.hehe.aku terus menekan pedal minyak meninggalkannya jauh di belakang.tiba-tiba, vios tadi pulak memotong keretaku, mungkin beliau tdk puas hati dan tercabar kerana telah dipotong oleh seorg gadis.haha.plet keretanya bernombor D**1980.mungkin itu tahun kelahirannya, aku berfikir dan berangan-angan.namun begitu,anganku terhenti apabila aku perasan terdapat 2 biji bantal yg beropol-ropol bersama kotak tisu yang cantik di bahagian blkg keretanya.jadi aku rasa dia sudah berkahwin, yang mana isterinya lah yg bertanggungjawab menghias kereta itu dgn indah sekali,which i strongly believe dat, atau dia memang sukakan barangan feminin.huhu.chehh..aku membiarkannya memecut jauh ke hadapan.

dan aku, kembali melayan lagu-lagu emo.

who will win the RM 1 mil

tomorrow night will be the final stage for the 3 finalists of one in a million which will be aired on 8tv at 8.30pm.i cannot wait to watch them perform.at first i didn't care much abt these people who are contesting in one in a million but i do know a few of them like easther, the well-known amylea and tomok, just to name a few. i saw easther sang on tv. she has strong vocal singing like a professional.now the decision has been made, Malaysia has voted that the three finalists are Easther, Tomok and Aweera.i'm not really a follower to the latter.he's full of himself i think.

i listened to their singing on fly fm yesterday and to my surprise they do deserve to be the finalists, especially Easther. when she sang 'i don't love you' which is the original singer is MCR, in a different version of music arrangement and everything, it was Wowww..she's awesome, really.i instantly fell in love with her version of the song particularly.Tomok is a whole new and diffrent now.he has improved quite a lot and i believe there's still room for improvement as well.he did well when singing 'gantung' in his own style.it was nice.aweera made a little impression too when singing some amy search's song (i think) but sorry, i'm just not a fan of his.

so tomorrow nite i'll be sitting cosily in the sofa in front of tv watching the three of them compete. i just hope Easther will be the winner and grab RM 1 mil (hadiah yg melampau) compared to the other two.

sunbathed

panas sungguh bumi kita sejak 2 menjak ini.melampau lampau kepanasannya.hr ni (tgh hr) blk dr sekolah, aku keluar melawat kawan yang sakit di hospital, kemudian pg beli brg, pusing2 kejap, ada lagi barang yg perlu aku beli tapi oleh krn tdk tahan sgt dengan terik mentari, aku balik ke rumah. aku dapati kulitku dh burnt dlm masa lbh kurang sejam terdedah kpd sinar UV.walaupun berada di dalam kereta yg telah di 'tinted', juga telah memakai penapis uv dgn SPF 50 sebelum keluar rumah.hampeh penapis UV itu. not that effective in malaysia i thot.hangat, pedih menyucuk-nyucuk kulitku.melihat garis perbezaan warna kulit di wajah kesan memakai tudung..terasa agak cemas, lantas aku melumurkan aloe vera ke wajah dan tgn.sejuk.nyaman.mungkin aku harus mula pakai purdah.



aku pasang aircond.ish, aku melanggar prinsip selamatkan bumi kita.tapi aku terpaksa.panas seperti berada dalam bilik sauna.

di luar matahari terus membakar bumi. sinarannya seolah-olah tidak ditapis langsung.aku terfikir, adakah kita sudah terlambat untuk menyelamatkan bumi kita?

alhamdulillah.di luar, hujan dh turun membasahi bumi...

kursus kenegaraan

attended the 5 days 4 nites course, daunted but i had so much of funnn.i was in Group 4, the coolest bunch of people.haha.there were actually 12 of us, in the photo 2 went missing, 10 camwhores left.i have learnt a lot of things from the course which i never thought i would.will write about it later.

the jungle trekking and patriotic singing competition were the ones of the many activities i enjoyed most.to make it even unforgettable, our group won the patriotic singing contest. we were proud like hell.after all, i was the choreographer.yeah, we did make a little rhythmic movement.agogo style.

weekend getaway

in kuantan
with adlina, 8 months preggers and pretty

p/s: I love you

i have read the book, even tho half-finished, i cried.

then i found its DVD, i watched, even tho it was not as good as the book, i cried as well. a lot

p.s: i love u, my friends.